By: Angie Lewis
Marriage is like a tricycle. One of the back wheels is the
mental (emotional) area in marriage, another back wheel is for
the physical (sexual), and the front wheel, which is the leader,
is for the spiritual aspects of the marriage. If one of these
facets of marriage is missing, what is going to happen? The
marriage is going to be unbalanced and topple over.
Did you know that your feelings could affect your sexual
appetite? For instance, if you're feeling bitter, resentful, or
guilty towards your spouse, you won't feel like having sex with
them. Should we deprive our spouse of sex because of how we are
feeling? I don't think so.
It is not right to deny our spouse the sexual fulfillment that
marriage so much needs just because we're mad at them or we're
having a bad day. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Feelings of bitterness are caused by an unforgiving attitude.
Please go back and read my articles on how to forgive properly.
Jesus said we are to forgive seventy times seven...forgiving
properly means that we don't harbor the pain anymore, and that
means we don't bring up the issue with our spouse again! Period!
Ladies, we are in control when it comes to the sexual aspects of
the marriage. Learn to use that to your advantage. After sex is
the best time to discuss any other issues that are bothering
you. Be nice, and express yourself lovingly and appropriately.
Don't nag and complain.
Many couples don't discuss their sexual preferences with each
other. But this is not the time to be shy either. It's very
vital to the sexual health of the marriage that couples express
their pleasures in the bedroom arena. Both need to know and be
acquainted with the zones and parts of the body, which are
capable of producing pleasurable sensations.
Below are a few guidelines to take note of for a great sensual
and passionate marriage, even after ten, and twenty years of
marriage!
1. Allow spouse the freedom to be who they are. Be understanding
and considerate of their feelings at all times, not just in the
bedroom.
2. Communicate any sexual issues and problems that have
developed in the marriage. Let go of your sexual inhibitions and
express your pleasures in the lovemaking arena. Ladies, men like
to give pleasure to their wives, so now is your chance to speak
up and tell him what you like.
3. Thank God everyday that you are married to a person who is
willing to discuss and express these issues with you.
4. Always be loving and available. Sometimes we women just
aren't in the mood. But it doesn't matter; give yourself to your
husband anyway, unless you are sick or going through
menstruation.
5. Create an appealing bedroom that you both like. Redecorate it
with tasteful decor that you both have picked out.
6. Make yourself attractive and pleasing to each other. Buy a
new skimpy nightgown, and men buy some bikini briefs. If you
already wear that kind of under clothing, buy some silky cartoon
boxers - something different that you wouldn't normally wear.
7. Be romantic and loving. Light some aromatic candles for a
sensual and romantic atmosphere.
This is for the ladies reading this. I have learned through
experience that men NEED to have sex. Some men like it everyday,
others every other day, while others maybe two times a week. Be
ready when your husband wants to have sex. Don't reject your
husband for just any reason; make him feel loved and good about
himself. Men love this kind of sensual pampering.
When we reject our husband, that is when they begin THINKING
about looking elsewhere to find fulfillment, and we don't want
that, do we ladies? So often we take our husband for granted in
this area, and don't realize the importance of sexual
fulfillment for the man in our life. Don't give him any reasons
to look elsewhere, take care of him!
This is for the men reading this. The most important thing you
can do for your wife is to not rush into the lovemaking act in
30 seconds. Come on now, be more considerate. You know it takes
your wife a bit longer than you. Tell her how much you love her,
and rub her all over, wherever she likes it. Be more patient in
the bedroom, your time will come soon enough.
Bottom line, do not deprive or reject each other! A happy sexual
relationship involves right attitudes. It is God's will that
married couples enjoy sexual relations with each other. Find out
what wheel is missing in your marriage and fix it.
"The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her
husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to
him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except
by MUTUAL consent and for A TIME, so that you may devote
yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not
TEMPT you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians
7:4-6
About the author:
Angie Lewis writes on subjects such as love, sex, and intimacy
between couples. Her books center on the biblical foundations
that God outlines for couples to follow for an exceptional
marriage. Angie writes numerous articles and e-books covering
such issues as adultery, addictions, temptation, and forgiveness
in marriage. See website for more information about Angie's
books or online marriage ministry.
http://www.heavenministries.com
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